Day 3: Braveheart

After The Hangover, it was clear that I needed to further explore the theme of masculinity. What better way to accomplish this than through Braveheart, singlehandedly one of the manliest films of all time, tied for first with Gladiator (which I've ACTUALLY SEEN!!!). 

A Not-As-Pedantic Analysis of Braveheart as Commentary on FREEDOM (and gender-related bravery)!!

• What did I learn from watching Braveheart? With regard to the actual history books, this film is apparently wildly inaccurate and it made lots of critics and historians angry, especially when it set off actual Anglophobia in the late 1990s. No matter - that must mean that the film was good. I concur, and here's what I've learned from Braveheart:
• Passion & Love > everything else ... and that's all you need to know if nothing else
• Bagpipes and battle cries make EVERYTHING more serious
• It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog
• People will listen to you if you just act like you know what's up and they don't
• Also, if you paint your face, it gives you more authority because you're automatically more passionate and badass than every other authority figure
• What did I learn from watching Braveheart that I already learned from playing Age of Empires II?
• Pike > Cavalry, any day
• English longbowmen have GREAT range attack, probably the best in the game
• You get quicker points for setting things on fire
• Even if your army is smaller, you can still win with good strategy
• The Wallace tutorial campaign taught me a ton
• What do Braveheart and The Hangover have in common?
• Wallace's friend Hamish bears a scary resemblance to Alan (Fun Fact: the guy who plays Hamish, Brendan Gleeson, also played Mad-Eye Moody in the Harry Potter series)

• Masculinity as a theme in some respect - in fact, those lacking masculinity in both movies are doomed to fail until/unless they come up with a means to overcome their fears
• Strong female characters - in Hangover, they're like the antagonists (i.e. Stu's girlfriend), but in Braveheart, the story line celebrates the strong female characters. 
• Assertion, Bravery, and Freedom - So obviously, this movie is extremely manly and emphasizes the traits of true manliness. But the movie also demonstrates how those characteristics apply to ladies as well, and through this, Braveheart clearly celebrates strong female characters who embody those same "manly" characteristics as the lauded male characters. So...
• What's MAN? Clearly, William Wallace is THE MAN who embodies everything the ideal man should be: brave, passionate, intelligent, and infinitely unyielding with regard to his values, like Freedom (which needs capitalization). By contrast, all of the other Scots who totally betray Wallace are concerned only with superficial pursuits, like money and sex. Rather than using their talents and passion to empower others, the other Scots are more concerned with instilling fear to maintain those superficial wants. By the way, the best of men also treat their women very, very well - after all, the death of his beloved wife is what spurs Wallace's passion for freedom and Scotland.
• Who's MAN? Well, not the British soldiers or the British prince. All of the British soldiers and their wimpy bitch of a prince are depicted as young, clean shaven, skinny, and very dumb. Watch the film again, and you'll see that each of those soldiers that Wallace wollops generally embody those physical characteristics. This all contrasts greatly with Wallace and his ragtag group, who all have plenty of hair, muscles, and gritty appearances to indicate heaps of testosterone. Even though Wallace is ultimately killed in body, his spirit is far from dead, and it is re-evoked by Robert the Bruce years later. (Oh, and by the way, he knocked up the French princess, so in that respect, Wallace lives on for sure.) Those who lack masculinity, on the other hand, are doomed to fail and perish (like the English prince and his buddies, one of whom straight up gets pushed out of the window by the king).
• Who's woMAN? The women in this movie are depicted as brave, passionate, and intelligent as well, a persona considered many centuries ahead of its time. Like, what French princess was ACTUALLY sitting in the English king's top secret meetings during the 1200s, having her covert opinions on the nefarious matters, and then subsequently acting upon them? Either way, this movie depicts her (and other women) as a courageous woman who asserts herself and her opinions, and throughout the film, characters express their outrage and/or surprise regarding the actions of French princess Isabelle and of course, Wallace's dead wife Murron. The women themselves also say plenty that line up with their strong actions throughout the film...
• "Oh it's fine I'll be back soon bye father!" - Murron to her dad when she just totally runs off with Wallace
• "**fight fight smack be a baller**" - Murron to the English soldiers trying to rape her
• "If your husband wants a WOMAN ruling his nation, then by all means, stay! *demeaning laughter*" - Longshanks to Isabelle when Isabelle's pussy wimp of a husband sends her to a meeting instead of going himself. By the way, Isabelle listens to the policies and clearly has an opinion on it all (and ends up acting upon it to the best of her abilities) because the camera keeps cutting to her face even though she's not part of the action.
• "Will you not speak with a woman?" - Isabelle when she confronts Wallace on behalf of Longshanks
• "I see her [Murron's] strength in you." - Wallace to Isabelle when totally trying to get in her pants
• "I carry a child who isn't of your line [brah, suck it, I'm a woman pulling a passive aggressive but still very assertive move against your stupid face]" - Isabelle whispers to Longshanks on his deathbed 

Braveheart is just one of those movies that makes you want to hike around the Scottish highlands, raid the English countryside, fuck up armies, roast marshmallows (see photo), and wear no underwear. In fact, I think I'll do all of the above right now...

Here's my favorite YouTube compilation of inspirational speeches from movies. It cuts in Mel Gibson's speech twice, and now I can say that I've seen its context. You may have seen this before, but take a look anyway. Enjoy!

Day 2: The Hangover

I'm sick of pretending that I know what's going on when people make pop culture references to The Hangover. Even my eleven-year old brother had watched this film before I did. 

No longer: I’ve finally watched this widely celebrated gem of our century’s comedic liturgy. It was a fantastic breakaway from my teary-eyed watching of Titanic on day 1 because as you know, The Hangover is very funny.

(By the way, I had nightmares about getting stuck on the Titanic with T-Pain and Andy Samberg before it went down painfully. I watched Samberg die and then I cried. I couldn’t get back to sleep.)

Anyway, because I was late to the party, it would be futile for me to just talk about how fantastically funny The Hangover was. Instead, I’m going to pedantically analyze its implications for society. Because that’s what film majors do.

A Pedantic Analysis of The Hangover as Commentary on the Dangers Posing Post-Modern Masculinity

• Genre: This addition to the new Millenial Bromance Genre humorously portrays a struggle between and among men in relation to a changing modern society. Films of this genre tackle issues of loss of masculinity in modern society, the changing institution of marriage, an exaggerated take on the societal implications of alcohol, and of course, the importance of getting laid. 
• Other films of this genre: Superbad, American Pie, American Pie 2, 41 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up (again, all films I haven't seen, but I know enough about them to know that they fit in this genre)
• Cinematography: There is an extreme use of montages, but appropriately so in the sense that the montages are not fantastical (as with most portrayals of Vegas) and actually build upon a mockery of montage. Of course, there are also plenty of fun panoramic shots that incorporate a time-lapse effect. This is appropriate for the passage of time depicted throughout the movie.
• Overarching Thematic Message: The lack of remembering is a metaphor for the rapid change in society with regard to the role of males - they no longer remember what they were supposed to be given that the 20th century's patriarchal society is rapidly dissolving to the past. This is accentuated in the film's focus on the humor of the aftermath of the partying rather than on the event of partying itself - after all, for the youth of society, this is a very relatable concept. In line with the thematic message, however, we as a society no longer have memory of an "intact" male-dominated and patriarchal society. The party is over, and now, we must pick up the pieces so that we may move forward and restore order.
• Analysis of the characters: 
• Phil represents lack of humor and taking his modern roles too seriously. In fact he's a father who is so uncharacteristically dedicated to his children that even when he and his friends look over the photos from their crazy night, he holds his sleeping son on his chest, a humorous yet stark contrast to the asinine behavior under review. He is also a teacher, which is a stereotypically female profession, but like everything else, he takes it seriously, almost attempting to overcompensate for his lack of masculinity.
• Alan actually acts as a symbol of homosexuality and of course of humor. After all, he does carry that man purse, and his preoccupation with impressing the other three guys is what ultimately leads to their downfall. (The downfall of modern day masculinity? Mayhaps.) On a side note, I knew from other people's accounts that Zach Galafinakis (the bloke who played Alan) was my boyfriend's doppleganger of sorts. I can confirm now this and it freaks me ou
• Stu represents that castrated, whipped male dating an overbearing and controlling girlfriend Melissa, an abusive female figure only familiar to society within the past thirty years. Melissa's aggression stems from her forthright attempts to assert herself in the same rapidly developing modern society that is degrading manhood. Unfortunately, this approach is not only unbalanced, but dangerous for females as well. Men and women must coexist in a balanced world.
• Doug represents the struggle to maintain modern day masculinity and seek balance with the female counterpart.
• All four men must come together, remember their night, and restore equilibrium in each of their lives for the masculine, balanced, heterosexual man (Doug) to emerge in marriage, that sacred bond between a man and a woman that so many fundamentalists value. By the end of the film, they do restore this, and upon finding their camera, they're able to remember their amazing and funny night of partying that we as the viewers get to revel in as well.

I hope you learned something new in the realm of absolute critical thinking and accurate analysis of films. You'll never watch The Hangover the same way again. Now, isn't that annoying?

By the way, have you laughed today? If you haven't, here's a clip of Zach Galafinakis killin' it in his opening monologue as host of Saturday Night Live.

Zach Galifianakis's SNL Monologue and 'Annie' Performance - watch more funny videos

Day 1: Titanic

No, no I had't seen this film, the highest grossing film of the 20th century. #badfilmmajor

First thoughts?

·  First of all, I never thought I'd be a sucker for this movie, but now I'm suuuuper teary-eyed. Maybe not the best movie for me to watch first when I'm emotionally vulnerable having been ripped from my Rice family.

·  Kate Winslet is just the most amazing actress ever. For my Modalities of Film class, I had to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and she co-stars in that with Jim Carrey. SO GOOD! I actually ENJOYED writing my paper on that film. Winslet also stars in Sense and Sensibility, one of my favorite dramas. 

·  Never knew that James Cameron - who directed Titanic - was the same dude who directed Avatar. So, that baller of a director WHO TAUGHT HIMSELF EVERYTHING ABOUT SPECIAL EFFECTS (see his wikipedia page) Again, I'm a bad film major. And again, that's slowly changing. 

Favorite part of the film?

·  Other than the fact that it moved me to tears? The fading special effects. Nowadays, the grand recreations and effects involving the actual Titanic models are no longer as impressive as they might have been in the 1990s, when I should have seen this film. But the fading still is incredibly powerful, and well placed, which is something difficult to achieve in order to keep the film flowing nicely. Maybe I'm talking it up too much, but the fact still stand that that was my favorite effect. T'was seamless.

Least favorite part of the film?

·  Dicaprio could have been a better actor. I felt the fire with Winslet, not with him though. His time is Inception.

And of course, I gladly accepted a link from my buddy to allay my tears...